‫- PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... ‫- THE TAPE IS GOING PUBLIC?
‫- THAT FOOTAGE COULD SURFACE ‫ANY MINUTE,
‫SO WE CAN TELL JAKE,
‫OR HE CAN SEE IT ‫WITH THE REST OF THE WORLD.
‫- JENNA WAS IN LOVE ‫WITH THIS OTHER GUY.
‫- I DON'T WANNA KEEP ‫SECRETS FROM JAKE.
‫I'M NOT IN LOVE ‫WITH THAT OTHER GUY ANYMORE.
‫MOM, DO YOU WANNA TELL HIM? ‫- I WROTE THAT LETTER TO JENNA.
‫- GOOD MORNING, PALOS HILLERS, ‫DON'T FORGET THE ASSEMBLY
‫IN THE SCHOOL GYM ‫THIS MORNING.
‫- IN MY ROLE AS PART ‫OF A NEWSOME TWOSOME,
‫I WAS LEARNING THAT SOMETIMES ‫I HAD TO BE LED...
‫- ROSATI.
‫- AND SOMETIMES I HAD ‫TO TAKE THE LEAD.
‫RELATIONSHIPS ‫WERE ALL ABOUT COMPROMISE...
‫AND RESTRAINT.
‫I WAS TRYING TO THROW MYSELF ‫INTO MY RELATIONSHIP WITH JAKE
‫WITHOUT BEING THE CLINGY ‫GIRLFRIEND OF HIS PAST.
‫BUT LIKE A UNIBOOB ‫IN A SPORTS BRA,
‫I WAS THE ONE BEING CONFINED... ‫BY MY EX.
‫HE JUST COULDN'T ACCEPT ‫REJECTION.
‫[siren wails]
‫- HOLLA!
‫V.P. MARKS ‫IS IN THE HOUSE!
‫HEY, YOUR GRANDPA CALLED. ‫HE WANTS HIS SHIRT BACK.
‫YO, SHORTY, WHY DON'T YOU ‫TRY GROWING A FEW INCHES?
‫HEY, VAL, WHY'D YOU GET ‫YOUR HAIR CUT?
‫IT LOOKS STUPID.
‫BULLYING IS ‫NO LAUGHING MATTER.
‫I WANNA THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING ‫TO THIS REQUIRED ASSEMBLY.
‫I AM PUMPED TO KICK OFF ‫ANTI-BULLY AWARENESS WEEK,
‫WHICH CULMINATES ‫WITH OUR 5K ON FRIDAY.
‫ANYONE ACTING ‫LIKE A BULLY THIS WEEK
‫WILL RECEIVE A SCARLET "B"
‫AND REPORT TO MY OFFICE FOR ‫SOME SERIOUS V.P. DISCIPLINE.
‫IT STANDS ‫FOR VICE PRINCIPAL,
‫MY NEW POSITION, ‫WHICH IS NO JOKE.
‫AND NEITHER IS DANCING ‫FOR A CAUSE.
‫PLEASE WELCOME PALOS HILLS ‫CHOREO CLUB: ZEUS TROUPE.
‫[cheers and applause]
‫- WHOO, GO, T.!
‫- [whistles]
‫- WAY TO SHOW OFF ‫THE HONEY POT, LADIES.
‫[hip-hop music]
‫*
‫- RICKY!
‫RICKY, YOU ARE ‫A SCUM DUMPSTER!
‫I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS! ‫LET'S TAKE IT OUTSIDE!
‫RICKY, I SWEAR!
‫LET'S TAKE IT OUTSIDE!
‫RICKY! ‫LET'S TAKE IT OUTSIDE!
‫- AND MATTY WASN'T THE ONLY ONE ‫WHO COULDN'T LET GO.
‫- HOW DOES THAT RICKY SCHWARTZ ‫GUY PULL SO MUCH TAIL?
‫- GIRLS ARE INTO CHEESE. ‫- NO, HE'S JUST RELENTLESS.
‫LIKE MATTY, MY LIFE HAD BECOME ‫A SERIES OF NEW COMPLICATIONS.
‫- LUNCH OFF CAMPUS? ‫- YEAH, GOOD WITH ME. JENNA?
‫- MY BOYFRIEND'S BOY FRIEND ‫WAS MY SECRET EX,
‫AND I WASN'T SURE HOW ‫TO REMOVE THE THIRD WHEEL
‫FROM MY RELATIONSHIP.
‫GREAT!
‫- COOL. ‫SEE YOU LATER.
‫- MATTY'S BEEN ACTING WEIRD ‫LATELY. HAVE YOU NOTICED?
‫- IT WAS HARD NOT TO. ‫MATTY WAS ALWAYS AROUND.
‫- DO YOU THINK ‫HE'S DEPRESSED?
‫YEAH. ‫IT'S PROBABLY NOTHING.
‫BUT YOU'RE SOMETHING: ‫ADORABLE.
‫- OH, NOW I'M WORRIED ‫ABOUT MATTY.
‫- DON'T. ‫HE'S NOT YOUR PROBLEM.
‫- MATTY'S MY PROBLEM.
‫HE'S DEPRESSED, ‫AND IT'S MY FAULT.
‫I CHOSE JAKE, ‫AND NOW WE CAN'T BE ALONE
‫WITHOUT MATTY TAGGING ALONG ‫TRYING TO TEMPT ME.
‫THE WHOLE SITUATION ‫IS WEIRD.
‫- GET OVER YOU. ‫HE'S NOT TRYING TO TEMP YOU.
‫HE PROBABLY ‫FEELS LIKE THE BBF.
‫BACKBURNER FRIEND. ‫AND I CAN RELATE.
‫EVER SINCE YOU FOUND JAKE
‫AND MING JOINED THE MAFIA, ‫I'VE BEEN--
‫- I DIDN'T PUT YOU ‫ON THE BACKBURNER.
‫- YOU'VE BEEN SO SARAN-WRAPPED ‫AROUND JAKE,
‫YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE IT.
‫- I'M NOT CLINGY. ‫MATTY IS.
‫- DO YOU WANT ME ‫TO BE THE BBF?
‫BECAUSE I CAN DO THAT AND TELL ‫YOU WHAT YOU WANNA HEAR.
‫- NO, I WANT ‫THE BFF TREATMENT.
‫- HERE IT IS: ‫NOBODY LIKES A CLING-ON.
‫INCLUDING MY PANINI.
‫THAT'S RIGHT, ‫I HAVE CAMEL TOE.
‫SOAK IT IN.
‫- LOOKS LIKE YOUR UNITARD
‫IS ALREADY DOING THE JOB.
‫- AS TAMARA PREPARED TO OWN UP ‫TO HER BEHAVIOR,
‫I WAS LEFT ‫TO PROCESS MINE.
‫WAS I UNINTENTIONALLY ‫BEING CRUEL TO MATTY
‫BY CLINGING ON TO JAKE?
‫- [sighs] ‫GIVE ME SOME SPACE!
‫- TAMARA, ‫THIS IS MRS. KAREY.
‫SHE'S OUR NEW GUIDANCE ‫COUNSELOR, IN TRAINING.
‫YOU SHOULD FEEL COMFORTABLE ‫OPENING UP TO HER,
‫BUT NOT SO OPEN THAT ‫YOU FEEL EXPOSED
‫BECAUSE MRS. KAREY HASN'T BEEN ‫FULLY VETTED JUST YET.
‫WE DON'T EVEN KNOW ‫IF THAT'S HER REAL NAME.
‫SO, TAMARA, CLEARLY ‫YOU HAVE SOME ISSUES
‫RELATING ‫TO MR. RICHARD SCHWARTZ.
‫- YES. RICKY'S ‫A PIECE OF [bleep].
‫- SOUNDS LIKE ‫YOU'RE ANGRY.
‫- THAT IS ‫AN UNDERSTATEMENT.
‫THE PIG WAS PUBLICALLY ‫DEEP-THROATING SOME SKANKSTER.
‫I BELIEVE MY RESPONSE ‫WAS APPROPRIATE.
‫- ANGER IS NOT ‫THE ANSWER.
‫SOMETIMES WE NEED ‫A GENTLE REMINDER TO NOT LET
‫OTHER PEOPLE GET ‫THE BETTER OF US.
‫YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO BE PUNISHED ‫FOR YOUR BEHAVIOR.
‫- I WENT FULL-METAL SEQUINS ‫IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE SCHOOL.
‫DON'T YOU THINK ‫THE EMBARRASSMENT OF MY OUTBURST
‫IS PUNISHMENT ENOUGH?
‫- YES. AND IT'S GONNA TAKE UNTIL ‫THE NEXT PUBLIC NIP SLIP
‫FOR YOU TO LIVE IT DOWN.
‫BUT I HAVE AN EXAMPLE TO SET.
‫IN MY NEW ROLE...
‫I AM RESPONSIBLE ‫FOR DISCIPLINARY ACTION.
‫WHICH IS NONE ‫OF MRS. KAREY'S BUSINESS,
‫SO I'M GONNA WRITE IT DOWN.
‫[scoffs]
‫YOU'LL PAY ME 20 BUCKS?
‫- I CAN MAYBE GET 30 ‫BY THE END OF THE DAY.
‫- THAT WOULD BE A BRIBE,
‫WHICH WOULD BE WRONG TO TAKE ‫IN EITHER ROLE.
‫IT'S ILLEGAL...AND NOT NEARLY ‫ENOUGH MONEY.
‫TAMARA, YOU WILL BE VOLUNTEERING ‫FOR THE 5K RUN/WALK
‫BECAUSE YOU ACTED LIKE A BULLY, ‫AND YOU NEED TO RUN IT OFF.
‫I SHOULD SUSPEND HER.
‫IT'S A LOT OF PAPERWORK.
‫- HI, I'M A BULLY WORKING ON ‫LETTING GO OF MY ANGER.
‫PLEASE SIGN UP FOR THE 5K
‫TO HELP PUT KIDS ‫LIKE ME IN MY PLACE.
‫- YOU HAVE TO READ THAT? ‫- YEAH.
‫EVERY DAY AT LUNCH.
‫- HEY, HAMILTON, ‫YOU COMING TO LUNCH?
‫- DO YOU WANT ME ‫TO STAY AND HELP?
‫I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL ‫LIKE A BACKBURNER FRIEND.
‫- I WOULD ONLY RELEGATE A BBF ‫TO WORKING THIS LAME EVENT.
‫PLUS MING CAN GET ME, LIKE,
‫200 SIGNATURES ‫WITH HER MAFIA CONNECTIONS,
‫SO YOU'RE OFF THE HOOK. ‫- THANKS, T.
‫- BUT, AS YOUR BFF, ‫I MUST REMIND YOU,
‫BE KIND.
‫DON'T RUB YOUR NEW ROMANCE ‫IN MATTY'S FACE.
‫NOBODY LIKES A RICKY.
‫- I'M NOT A RICKY.
‫I DIDN'T WANNA RUB ‫MY RELATIONSHIP
‫OR ANYTHING ELSE ‫IN MATTY'S FACE.
‫AND TO PROVE MY POINT, ‫I TOOK THE BACK SEAT...
‫[alternative music]
‫*
‫I SHARED MY BETTER HALF...
‫*
‫AND I GAVE UP CONTROL.
‫I WAS CRAMPED, HUNGRY, ‫AND HOT...IN THE WRONG WAY.
‫IN MY ATTEMPT ‫TO SPARE MATTY'S FEELINGS,
‫I HAD SACRIFICED MINE.
‫MY MENAGE A TROIS HAD BECOME ‫A MENAGE A FAUX PAS.
‫I WAS BEING ‫CONSTANTLY REMINDED
‫OF MY LINGERING ‫ATTRACTION TO MATTY.
‫BUT THANKFULLY, THREE ‫WAS A MAGIC NUMBER AT HOME
‫ON A GOOD DAY.
‫SO DAD'S WORKING LATE... ‫AGAIN.
‫- HE'S JUST BEEN TRYING TO GET ‫AHEAD OF HIS CRAZY WORKLOAD.
‫- MY MOM COULD MAKE ‫EXCUSES ALL NIGHT,
‫BUT I KNEW THE TRUTH.
‫EVER SINCE MY DAD ‫FOUND OUT THAT SHE
‫WAS BEHIND THE CAREFRONTATION, ‫HE HAD BEEN AVOIDING HER.
‫AND BY AVOIDING HER, I WAS ‫GETTING THE RESIDUAL SHAFT TOO.
‫- I THINK HE NEEDS TO RELAX, ‫TAKE THE STRESS OFF,
‫WHICH IS WHY I GOT HIM ‫A SPECIAL SURPRISE.
‫- YOU BOUGHT DAD ‫A HOT TUB?
‫- IT'S FOR ‫THE WHOLE FAMILY TO ENJOY.
‫- A HOT TUB EQUALED ONE THING: ‫DESPERATION.
‫MY MOM WAS DESPERATE ‫FOR MY FATHER'S ATTENTION,
‫AND HER SECRET WEAPON ‫ALWAYS INVOLVED
‫LESS CLOTHING AND MORE SKIN.
‫[phone rings]
‫- HELLO?
‫- I'M SIGNING YOUR PARENTS UP ‫FOR THE 5K.
‫IS THAT COOL? ‫- IS THAT YOUR DAD?
‫- IT'S TAMARA, SHE WANTS TO KNOW ‫IF YOU'LL RUN
‫THE 5K AGAINST ‫BULLIES ON FRIDAY.
‫- I DON'T LIKE ‫TO SWEAT IN PUBLIC,
‫BUT I'LL BE HAPPY ‫TO MAKE A DONATION.
‫- OH, IT'S SO HARD TO GET PEOPLE ‫EXCITED ABOUT RUNNING.
‫HOW WAS LUNCH? ‫- MATTY TOOK HIS SHIRT OFF
‫WHILE PLAYING A VIDEO GAME. ‫WHO DOES THAT?
‫- YOU KNOW, ‫I HATE TO ADMIT THIS,
‫BUT MATTY MIGHT BE TRYING ‫TO HOMEWRECK YOU.
‫AND I KNOW THIS ‫BECAUSE RIGHT NOW,
‫I'M PLOTTING TO WRECK RICKY.
‫- NO, MATTY'S NOT ‫THAT KIND OF GUY.
‫- MAYBE, MAYBE NOT.
‫REJECTION BRINGS OUT ‫THE DARK SIDE.
‫BELIEVE ME, I KNOW.
‫I AM FULLY AWARE THAT I'M ‫A LOOSE CANNON RIGHT NOW,
‫AND MATTY MIGHT BE TOO.
‫- THERE'S NO WAY HE'S TRYING ‫TO OVERTLY HURT MY RELATIONSHIP.
‫JAKE'S HIS BEST FRIEND.
‫- WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT, ‫BUT PAY ATTENTION.
‫WHEN ARE YOU HANGING OUT ‫WITH HOTTIE ROSATI AGAIN?
‫- TONIGHT, HE'S COMING OVER ‫TO WATCH A MOVIE.
‫- OR GET IN THE HOT TUB! ‫- OR GET IN THE HOT TUB.
‫- HOT TUB? ‫WHEN DID YOU GET A HOT TUB?
‫- WHEN MY MOM GOT DESPERATE. ‫- I HEARD THAT.
‫- MY PARENTS ARE FIGHTING.
‫- WELL, IF MATTY ENDS UP SITTING
‫ACROSS FROM YOU IN IT, ‫THEN YOU'LL KNOW.
‫- KNOW WHAT?
‫- THAT HE'S TRYING ‫TO SABOTAGE YOU.
‫- IF THERE'S ONE THING ‫MATTY'S NOT, IT'S A SABOTEUR.
‫THERE'S NO WAY HE'S GONNA ‫WIND UP IN MY HOT TUB.
‫- LET'S CRANK UP THE HEAT!
‫- WE DIDN'T NEED TO. ‫I WAS ALREADY BOILING.
‫SORRY, I THOUGHT WE WERE ‫GOING TO WATCH A MOVIE.
‫HE INVITED HIMSELF.
‫- IT WAS CLEAR MATTY ‫WASN'T JUST CLINGING ON TO ME.
‫HE WAS CLINGING ‫ON TO JAKE.
‫BECAUSE IF HE COULDN'T HAVE ME, ‫HE DIDN'T WANT JAKE TO EITHER.
‫IT WAS TEXTBOOK SABOTAGE.
‫- DUDE, DID YOU PEE? ‫- NO.
‫I DID NOT PEE.
‫- JENNA, CAN I TALK TO YOU?
‫- GLADLY.
‫WHY ARE YOU SNEAKING IN ‫THROUGH THE BACK DOOR?
‫- I WASN'T SNEAKING.
‫I WAS JUST TRYING TO ‫AVOID YOUR MOM.
‫- THAT'S SNEAKING.
‫- HOLD UP, ‫WHO'S THE DAD HERE?
‫WHEN DID WE GET A HOT TUB, ‫AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN IT
‫WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND ‫AND YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND?
‫- SECRET EX-BOYFRIEND, ‫AND THE TITLE'S DEBATABLE.
‫WE NEVER FULLY DTR'D.
‫- JENNA, SPARE ME THE DETAILS. ‫I DON'T WANNA KNOW THEM.
‫WHAT I DO WANNA KNOW IS ‫WHY WE HAVE A HOT TUB.
‫- IT WAS MOM'S IDEA, ‫AND SHE SUGGESTED WE USE IT.
‫- WHY ARE YOU LISTENING ‫TO YOUR MOM?
‫- BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN M.I.A.
‫SO CAN YOU PLEASE STICK AROUND
‫AND HELP ME GET ‫MATTY OUT OF HERE?
‫- SO YOU CAN BE ALONE ‫WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND?
‫NO.
‫BUT I WILL DO YOU ‫ONE BETTER.
‫- DID SOMEONE JUST PEE?
‫- THAT WOULD BE ME.
‫[pop music]
‫*
‫- OH!
‫- IT'S GETTING LATE. ‫- OKAY.
‫- YEAH, AND I'M HIS RIDE. ‫THANKS FOR THE INVITE.
‫THANKS FOR HAVING US.
‫*
‫- YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BOUGHT ‫OUR DAUGHTER A SEX SWING.
‫TAKE IT BACK.
‫[bell rings]
‫- T., YOU WERE RIGHT.
‫MATTY'S TOTALLY TRYING ‫TO HOMEWRECK MY RELATIONSHIP,
‫AND IT'S WORKING.
‫I HAVEN'T HAD A MOMENT ALONE ‫WITH JAKE IN OVER A WEEK.
‫- I KNEW IT.
‫IT TAKES A SABOTEUR ‫TO KNOW A SABOTEUR.
‫ALTHOUGH MATTY'S A LITTLE ‫MORE AMATEUR HOUR THAN I AM.
‫HI, I'M A BULLY WHO NEEDS ‫TO WORK ON HER ANGER.
‫SIGN HERE IF YOU THINK ‫RICKY SCHWARTZ IS A DOUCHE.
‫- WHAT DID I SAY ‫ABOUT PERSONAL SPACE?
‫TAMARA, THIS IS SCHOOL OUTREACH, ‫NOT SCHOOL OUTRAGE.
‫YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE SIGNING ‫PEOPLE UP FOR THE 5K,
‫NOT "RICKY SCHWARTZ ‫CAN KISS MY ASS."
‫- I'M DOING A PUBLIC SERVICE. ‫A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE OUTRAGED.
‫- RICKY SCHWARTZ USED ME ‫FOR RIDES AT BAND PRACTICE,
‫AND I'M NOT JUST TALKING ‫ABOUT THE CHAIR.
‫- RICKY SCHWARTZ ‫CALLED US ALL BEAUTIFUL,
‫SO WE WOULD CUP HIS BALLS.
‫- RICKY SCHWARTZ SAID ‫I'D LOOK SEXY WITH BANGS.
‫I DON'T.
‫- YOU HAVE GOT ‫TO STOP THIS.
‫SUSPENSION PAPERWORK ‫IS NO JOKE.
‫I HAVE TO FILL OUT ‫THE FRONT AND THE BACK.
‫YOU ARE SUPPOSED ‫TO BE SHADOWING ME!
‫NOT OVERSHADOWING ME!
‫- YOU ARE SUCH A NOVICE. ‫PAPER LEAVES A TRAIL.
‫START AN ANONYMOUS ‫TWITTER CAMPAIGN.
‫YOU'VE GOTTA GO BIG OR GO HOME. ‫- WHICH SHOULD BE YOUR MOTTO.
‫YOU'RE THE ONLY REASON ‫WE'RE HAVING THIS EVENT.
‫IT SHOULD BE CALLED ‫THE SADIE SAXTON WALK/RUN,
‫AND YOU COULD SURE ‫USE THE CARDIO.
‫- SHE DIDN'T MEAN THAT. ‫- OH, YES, SHE DID.
‫AND NORMALLY, ‫I WOULD RIP HER TO SHREDS,
‫BUT SHE'S ANGRY, ‫AND I GET IT.
‫PEOPLE WILL TELL YOU TO LET GO ‫OF YOUR ANGER,
‫BUT ANGER CAN BE ‫A GREAT MOTIVATOR.
‫IF YOU WANNA SABOTAGE SOMEONE, ‫YOU HAVE TO BE SMART.
‫FIND OUT WHAT THEIR ACHILLES ‫HEEL IS, AND CUT INTO IT.
‫YOU'RE A PRO AT CUTTING. ‫[laughs]
‫YOU CAN SHOW HER.
‫NOW WATCH THE MASTER WORK. ‫TAKE LISSA.
‫SOME WOULD SAY ‫SHE REJECTED ME,
‫BUT I WOULD SAY SHE DOESN'T ‫WANNA BE REPLACED.
‫YOU ARE SO PRETTY, ‫WE SHOULD
‫TOTALLY HANG OUT ‫ON MY DAD'S BOAT.
‫- REALLY? ‫- NO. BUT WATCH.
‫LISSA WILL BE TURNING AROUND ‫TO LOOK AT US
‫IN THREE...TWO...ONE.
‫- BITCH HAD A POINT.
‫MATTY DIDN'T WANT ME ‫TO REPLACE HIM.
‫SO IF I WAS GOING TO GET HIM ‫TO BACK DOWN,
‫I WOULD HAVE TO ENGAGE ‫IN MAJOR DISPLAY OF PDA,
‫AND I WOULD DO IT BY...
‫[pop music]
‫TAKING THE FRONT SEAT...
‫NOT SHARING ‫MY BETTER HALF...
‫*
‫AND REGAINING CONTROL.
‫*
‫- I THINK I'M GONNA HEAD OUT. ‫- BYE.
‫- YEAH, I'LL CALL YOU ‫LATER, MAN.
‫- I FINALLY BEAT MATTY ‫AT HIS OWN GAME.
‫SADIE WAS RIGHT. ‫ANGER WAS A GREAT MOTIVATOR.
‫- YOU'VE BEEN REALLY ‫AFFECTIONATE LATELY.
‫- YOU BRING IT OUT ‫IN ME.
‫- YEAH, I--I OFTEN DRIVE WOMEN ‫WILD WITH DESIRE.
‫AND WHILE I'M REALLY LOVING ‫WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE,
‫UM, UH, I THINK I KNOW ‫WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON.
‫IT'S MATTY.
‫I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE HIM. ‫- NO, NO, NO, THAT'S NOT IT.
‫- IT'S OKAY.
‫HE CAN BE REALLY STANDOFFISH ‫AT FIRST,
‫BUT ONCE YOU GET TO KNOW HIM ‫LIKE I KNOW HIM,
‫YOU'LL LOVE HIM.
‫- THAT WAS THE PROBLEM.
‫IF JAKE KNEW JUST HOW WELL I ‫KNEW MATTY, HE WOULDN'T LOVE ME.
‫- I LOVE YOU. ‫I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.
‫I'M JUST GONNA STAY AT YOUR ‫GRANDPARENTS' FOR A FEW DAYS.
‫- YOU'RE JUST GONNA SIT THERE ‫AND LET HIM LEAVE?
‫- HE JUST NEEDS ‫A LITTLE SPACE.
‫- EVERYONE COULD USE ‫A LITTLE SPACE.
‫- EVERYONE BUT ME.
‫WHILE I DIDN'T LIKE BEING ‫SUFFOCATED IN MY RELATIONSHIP,
‫I COULD HAVE USED ‫A LITTLE LESS OXYGEN AT HOME.
‫- SEE, THIS IS WHAT ‫I WAS AFRAID OF.
‫YOU'RE PUTTING JENNA ‫IN THE MIDDLE.
‫- LACEY, YOU PUT HER THERE. ‫- NO, I MADE A MISTAKE.
‫YOU ALWAYS SAID MY ABILITY ‫TO TAKE RISKS
‫WAS WHAT YOU LOVE MOST ‫ABOUT ME.
‫- THIS ISN'T ABOUT GETTING ‫A BUTTERFLY TATTOO.
‫YOU ALMOST RUINED ‫OUR DAUGHTER'S LIFE.
‫- MY LIFE ISN'T RUINED.
‫I'M FINE.
‫BUT YOU'LL RUIN IT IF YOU ‫LEAVE ME ALONE WITH A BULLY.
‫GOD.
‫NO ONE GETS TO ESCAPE ‫IF I DON'T.
‫DON'T WORRY! I'VE BEEN THROUGH ‫THIS
‫A FEW TIMES ‫WITH MY PARENTS,
‫AND THE FIRST SEPARATION ‫NEVER TAKES.
‫IF HE WAS REALLY LEAVING,
‫THERE WOULD BE SOME SORT ‫OF GRAND GESTURE.
‫MY PARENTS TOOK ME ‫TO DISNEY WORLD.
‫IF YOU GET A CAR, ‫THEN THEY'RE GETTING A DIVORCE.
‫- I WISH ‫I COULD GET MATTY A CAR,
‫SO JAKE AND I ‫COULD DIVORCE HIM.
‫- KEEP THE CAR.
‫USE IT TO RUN HIM OVER.
‫- TAMARA WAS ‫ON TO SOMETHING,
‫BUT MAYBE ‫THERE WAS AN EASIER WAY
‫TO GET MATTY ‫OUT OF MY HAIR.
‫ONE THAT WOULDN'T ‫GIVE ME 50 TO LIFE.
‫HEY, WE NEED TO TALK. ‫- YEAH, WE DO.
‫- APPARENTLY HE WAS ‫UP TO SPEED
‫ON THE INTENT ‫OF THOSE FOUR WORDS,
‫SO I DIDN'T HAVE TO WASTE TIME ‫WITH GENTLE PLEASANTRIES.
‫I COULD GO AGGRO.
‫WOULD YOU PLEASE BUTT OUT ‫OF MY RELATIONSHIP
‫AND STOP TRYING ‫TO SEDUCE ME?
‫- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ‫- THE WINKS.
‫THE "ACCIDENTAL" TOUCHING.
‫NUDING UP ‫EVERY CHANCE YOU GET.
‫YOU HAVE NICE ABS, ‫I GET IT.
‫- YOU THINK I'M TRYING ‫TO LURE YOU AWAY FROM JAKE?
‫- YES! ‫- YOU'RE CRAZY.
‫LIKE I WANNA HANG OUT ‫WITH YOU GUYS?
‫NO, NO, JAKE WANTS ME TO.
‫I AM TRYING TO MAKE IT ‫AS NORMAL AS POSSIBLE,
‫BUT IT IS HARD WITH YOU ‫ALWAYS BEING SO...
‫- DON'T SAY IT. ‫- CLINGY.
‫- I AM NOT CLINGY.
‫YOU'RE THE CLING-ON. ‫- HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU,
‫BUT THE ONLY NEW VARIABLE ‫IN THIS RELATIONSHIP IS YOU.
‫I'VE BEEN HANGING WITH JAKE ‫SINCE I WAS TEN.
‫- DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME! ‫- JUST TRYING TO BE FRIENDS.
‫- WE WERE ‫NEVER FRIENDS!
‫- THERE WILL BE NO YELLING ‫IN THIS HALLWAY!
‫YOU'RE STILL MY GIRL. ‫SEE YOU AT THE 5K.
‫- COULD IT BE THAT THE PERSON ‫SABOTAGING MY RELATIONSHIP
‫WITH JAKE WAS ME?
‫IF MATTY WAS TELLING ‫THE TRUTH,
‫THEN MATTY WASN'T ‫THE THIRD WHEEL, I WAS.
‫- COME ON, LADIES.
‫IT'LL BE THE BEST THREESOME ‫OF YOUR LIFE.
‫GIRL ON GIRL ON RICKY.
‫- OKAY, THAT WON'T HELP.
‫ALL OF YOUR EFFORTS TO BULLY HIM ‫HAVE BACKFIRED.
‫YOU'VE ONLY MADE HIM ‫MORE POPULAR.
‫- HEY!
‫THANKS FOR THE ADVICE, ‫BUT IT SUCKED BALLS.
‫IT DIDN'T WORK.
‫- SAYS WHO?
‫- SON OF A BITCH, ‫YOU PLAYED ME!
‫- YOU'RE WELCOME.
‫[pop music]
‫*
‫- HEY!
‫WHAT IS WITH THE HOOKER SHOES ‫AROUND THE KIDS?
‫THIS IS A TRACK, ‫NOT A STRIPPER POLE!
‫YOU'RE FIRED!
‫*
‫- THIS IS ADULT BUSINESS, ‫OKAY?
‫YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND... ‫IT.
‫- HEY. ‫- HI.
‫- MATTY TOLD ME ‫THAT YOU GUYS TALKED.
‫- WHAT DID HE SAY?
‫- THAT YOU AND I MIGHT NEED
‫TO SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER.
‫ALONE.
‫SO LET'S HANG TONIGHT.
‫FEEL FREE ‫TO BRING
‫MORE OF THAT "CAN'T GET ‫ENOUGH OF JAKE" ACTION.
‫- MM, I DON'T KNOW ‫IF YOU HEARD,
‫BUT TAMARA AND I ‫ARE BULLIES IN NEED
‫OF A SERIOUS ‫ATTITUDE MAKEOVER
‫THAT ONLY FROZEN YOGURT ‫CAN PROVIDE.
‫SO YOU HANG OUT WITH MATTY ‫TONIGHT WITHOUT ME.
‫YOU DON'T NEED ‫A CLINGY GIRLFRIEND,
‫AND I DON'T NEED TO BE ONE.
‫- MAYBE I LIKE BEING CLUNG TO.
‫- HEY, YOU WANNA WALK ‫THIS THING OR WHAT?
‫- NOT REALLY. ‫WE'RE OFF THE HOOK.
‫- OH, THANK GOD.
‫PIZZA? ‫- YEAH.
‫I'M GONNA CHANGE, I'LL MEET YOU ‫IN THE PARKING LOT.
‫- MWAH.
‫I'M SORRY ‫FOR ACTING CRAZY.
‫I THOUGHT YOU WERE TRYING ‫TO SABOTAGE MY RELATIONSHIP.
‫- IT'S COOL.
‫- ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET ‫THIS 5K PARTY STARTED!
‫[gunshot]
‫- WELL, IF IT MAKES ‫YOU FEEL ANY BETTER,
‫I'M BEING FORCED ‫TO WALK THIS
‫BECAUSE I YELLED AT YOU.
‫- GOOD.
‫- NICE JOB, MCKIBBEN. ‫- WHAT?
‫- YOU WERE TOTALLY ‫SABOTAGING THEM.
‫I KNOW THE SIGNS.
‫[alternative music]
‫*
‫- WHAT ARE YOU ‫DOING HERE?
‫- GETTING A LITTLE EXERCISE ‫FOR A GOOD CAUSE.
‫NOBODY LIKES A BULLY.
‫- WHO YELLS AT ‫HER BOYFRIEND'S FRIENDS.
‫- OR WRITES HARSH LETTERS ‫TO HER DAUGHTER.
‫YOUR DAD LEFT TODAY.
‫HE'S AT GRANDMA'S.
‫- IT'S NOT JUST ‫FOR A FEW DAYS, IS IT?
‫- NO.
‫*
‫- HEY, BEAUTIFUL!
‫YEAH, YOU BETTER RUN!
‫[both laugh]
‫NEXT ON AWKWARD
‫I'VE GOT THE ANSWER ‫TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS. DOUBLE ‫DATE THIS WEEKEND.
‫I'M GONNA FIX YOU UP. ‫- I CAN'T.
‫I'M GOING TO CHURCH CAMP. ‫- WELL, IF THEY TELL YOU
‫TO DRINK THE KOOL-AID ‫AND TAKE A NAP, DON'T.
‫- SHE'S THE GIRL ‫WE'VE BEEN PRAYING FOR.
‫REMEMBER? THE HARLOT ‫WHO STOLE MY BOYFRIEND.
‫- THERE WAS A SOLID CHANCE ‫I WOULD FIND COMFORT
‫BEING EMBRACED BY A COMMUNITY ‫OF LOVING...HATERS.
‫- HO BAGS ARE RELEGATED ‫TO THE BACK OF THE BUS.